Also, there are so many people over the years who have shared stories with me about similar experiences. Im 29 and l have just lost my dad.. honestly l dnt think l have it in to carry on.am so lost and troubled,the pain is unbearable to say the least.my world is crushing. I guess I need to watch the skys, you never know what it may bring. My life hasnt turned out the way I planned, and he was ultimately my safety blanket. Thank you so much for sharing your story. 4) I felt at fault because he had symptoms all day that everyone, even he ignored. I want to honour him of being the greatest dad we could ever ask for and have his soul and spirit live within me so I always know hes always in presence in guiding my presence to move forth and keep our chin up high no matter how difficult things may look. They were truly the best parents and I spoke to them every single day twice a day and I miss them so much. I personally wanted her to stay in the hospital because she only weighed 54pds and I wanted the hospital to make her better. More than 1 year later and I still miss my ex - Tiny Buddha When I was in the kitchen was cleaning the vegetables I smell strong flower fragrance and I saw him standing and fade away past. It's been 5 months and I still miss him. : r/relationship_advice - Reddit When he go up from his chair to get into the EMT chair I heard the fluid go into his lungs. I took care of her for 20yrs and the last 7yrs her condition worsened,of course I knew her time was coming but mom was a strong woman, and whatever mom said I believed no question asked! When you look in your fridge and realize the A1 sauce and all the other condiments that only he used will sit there, untouched forever. I actually saw him sitting in my room next to me when I was 13 which has lead me to be a huge researcher now on the lost loved ones and their visits. I was told that time is a great healer, but actually that hasnt worked for me. I cant understand people around me. She misses him, but she wasnt as close as we were. I dont think it matters what age you are when you lose a parent that you are so close to. And left I watched my Dad fight to stay strong for us thru chemo, remission & more chemo. May the universe bring peace to all of yall in moments like these. Ive been experiencing hard emotions never felt. Unresponsive and not waking up, he was basically in a coma. I recently lisd my child , he was special needs. Its soon going to be 10 months since I lost my beloved dad at the age of 53, it was so sudden and unexpected I still cant believe it! I didnt realize it was too late. When he first left us, all I could think about was his last few moments of life, replaying it over and over again in my mind. I wasnt ready to lose him, I think no one is ever ready, but my dad wasnt sick, although he was 89 years old, and in October he was going to turn 90 (I was really excited and already planning this big event). And that doesnt mean the grief has disappeared: it just means youve learned to balance both. I cant eat , sleep or do anything but just cry every minute. My dog died almost 6 months ago now, and everyone seems to - Reddit But I recently returned from a trip back from my childhood home where my folks are buried, the first trip back since my mothers funeral. My dad was the only one that really understands me and gave me the best advice but I was totally blind to see how much I need him I thank you for being the best dad you could be and for the example your life ended with. I lost my father in 2011, the summer before my senior year of high school. I had lots of supportive family and friends and I was making my way through the maze of paperwork that is overwhelming after a death. Its odd because Im normally an emotional person. But I cant change it. Not the books, the therapy, meditation, or anything else Ive ever tried. I am sad and empty and feel like Ill never be back to normal again. I did feel extremely guilty, he was loved and I miss him everyday. It is Christmas and I am living at home with my mom. Hes going to be taken from me within the next few days and I honestly dont know how I am going to cope. <3 Even during such times. Some act like those who had time to prep for a loved one to pass is the same as a sudden death. But now I dont feel sad sure I miss my mum every day but I remember the happy funny times with her . Id love to know. I remember that was a very difficult yet happy day.. knowing my Dad would never be with us again together like that. It is as raw as the day my dad died. I know I cant go because I have two wonderful sons but I just cant see a day ever coming that I will feel any better. My dad had hepatitis and cirrhosis of the liver. I lost my father 9 months ago and its the hardest pill to swallow especially since he died in my armsstay strong, I lost my mommy yesterday. Required fields are marked *. Our relationship has never been the same. I keep a special picture on my mantle with a candle I light every evening. It has been 20 years now and I still find it hard at times. This brought family closer, yet farther from each other. My dad unexpectedly died of a fast growing cancerous brain tumor that neither him or us knew about. I lost my dad a year ago today. Not a day goes by where I dont think about him. I can still remember the moment my mum and I left him in the hospital that day and there were tears on his eyes that I gently wiped off. Im 20 years old turning 21 in a few days its also my fathers birthday tomorrow . I never imagined this would happen and cant make sense of it. Inside Im broken. And I guess I starte to notice this around 9/07. My heart aches for you and everyone one else here. Its been rough with hormones and losing my dad and then the week after both my dogs died two days apart. I lost mom 2 months ago. But Im an adult. I have nobody to talk to because I dont think nobody understands what I am going through. So I went on that coffee date, and I continued dating, for the first time in my adult life. I never stopped griefing, even if my friends dont care anymore. Thanks for this, lost my dad 7/12/18 one week exactly before his 70th Birthday on 7/19. He wasnt the average Joe. Ive been a mess. You can find out more about how Jessica and two-year-old Sawyer are getting on by following her Instagram account, 5 Things No One Tells You About the Loss of a Spouse. Its just I feel so lost in this world. He hasnt ever given me the opportunity to talk , ask questions. Lol yes in these 5 months we have actually hooked up twice and then we just leave each other like nothing happened which I thought I could handle but I guess it still gets to me in the long run, I thought maybe it was a possibility we could be FWB that way I at least have him in my life in some way, but after those hookups when I expect calls and don't get them, I . I love you Dad and I miss you so much! Sometimes it feels like I will never be happy again. As a father I would probably have said the same as your mum to protect you. Video holding hands and talking. He mentioned he had a CT scan coming up. You can learn to grieve a loss without being consumed by the grief. Yes, it's normal. At that moment, I just wanted to be a little boy in my moms arms. The hardest part of trying to accept what has happened is not only do I not know what caused this but I practically begged for help. I would get so frustrated with my mother because she kept the television on blaring 24 hours a day. It just cant be, without him around, I really feel my mom is in heaven too such a lovely lady she was. And that whole embalming process is just cruel. I just wish I could be with him now, but I know that Jesus wept over his friend Lazarus and so I know my God understands my grief even though he has made a way for eternal life. What this scripture is highlighting the fact that God is close to us through our most difficult of times. U never mentioned it and its one thing Ive yet to figure out and its keeping me from even wanting a wedding. It was spreading. he battled with drug addiction and mental illnesses and in 2016 he approached me, homeless and hadnt eaten in days so i let him stay for a week but something didnt feel right and i told him to leave. Take care of yourself and dont ever feel guilty for being happy when that day comes again because in reality, thats all your dad wants anyway Stay strong Becca. She already knew the sounds of life were gone. My Dad died due to Covid on 2nd March 2021.Till a day before his death, He was not showing any type of fear. I felt so guilty, but it was too much for me to shoulder. Thanks for your wonderful comments. Im just breathing but the best of me is gone. I remember holding your hand and head until there was no more warmth left and crying more. I still cant believe my father left me. My dad died unexpectedly too 12 years ago, it was very traumatic for us all. I lost him at the end of February this year and feel like Ive had my heart ripped out. That in itself can be a good thing. He was my world too. 31.4K Likes, 1.5K Comments. I lost my Dad on 30th Sept 2019. He was my father, hero, and idol all wrapped in oneIm still as devastated as I was when it first happened. Day and night, it feels as if theres a burning in my heart. now two years later, he gets into trouble and lost his life. Finding myself driving by all the houses we grew up in remembering. He was diagnosed with Kidney Cancer and something else, which eventually spread to his brain. I dont mind it at all. Nothing but whimpers, and tears coming me as i try to hold in screams with all my mental strenghth. like I never left his side, he put up the best fight to stage 4 pancreas cancer and his fight is over. Reading this has really helped me umbottled emotions I have been pushing down for a while. Thank you, this helped a lot. I hope this helps. i am thinking, praying, and crying with you. I then try to shake it off and move on. So I wrote him a letter. Its so comforting to see that Im not alone in this. I want to share with you that I lost my Father 14 years ago, it still feels like yesterday. We are not promised tomorrow and when that day comes it will be with you the rest of your life. I can see now that the grief she was showing in my fathers final days was just guilt, my uncle is disowning her and I am soon to follow, RIP dad, I love you, sorry you were blinded by a complete bitch, you deserved better. Ive fine through all possibel stagen of grief and sometimes I wonder of I ever can be whole again. I havent found a way through the grief itself. I lost my father April 20th 2020. Im 36 lost my mom 28 years ago but met someone who reminds me of her and I cant stop calling. I hope I can be strong enough for my siblings and my Mom and help them get thru their grief. Ive Beverly felt scared, lost and unsafe before but nos Its unbarable. My parents divorced when I was 17, but I really grew closer to my father the past 20+ years. I know that I will never be the same and thats ok. That just shows how much we loved them. Sometimes, especially during the night though, it gets really tough to get him out of my head. Id just needed someone to tell me that it was okay. I have been distraught and completely clueless as to what to do. Im 33 and I lost my dad 49 days ago. But I saw that his face was blue. He was an amazing grandad, so loving & patient with them, always giving them hugs & telling them he loved them. Last night my baby sister post a photo of my father with his contagious smile and I was sobbing the whole and the whole day today. I lost my mom when I was 29 and now my dad passed away three years later- just 6 weeks ago. Are you ready to risk more heartbreak, after already experiencing an unimaginable one? i no how you feel. I hate him so much yet all I do is cry and repeat how much I love him. I lost my dad and buried my dad last weekend. I know my father lives on in me, because I am his daughter. I hope where ever they are they must rip, Hi Im jade and thanks for posting this it cheered me up Im only 13 and my mum died a couple years ago but I used to feel like I was my dads favorite now he wont even say I love you back I havent cried since her funeral because I feel like I have to be strong and crying is a weakness. I loose my Father and he has not been there for me at all. I never got to say goodbye and to think I wasnt next to the man who held my hand and walked me through the many ups and downs Ive been through hurts so much. I lost my dad to pancreatic cancer last May, I honestly didnt see it coming. Anyway, I wish you all the best and I believe you can pick yourself up. Side note my dad was in the army. Thank you for this article. God how I loved him. I know one day I will remember him without the sadness, but I know this will be a long journey. I am a problem fixer and I should be able to fix myself right? Say hello to everyone for me. I hope in time I will be able to have more smiles than just confusion, but I have to hold it together to help my Mom to move on. Our relationship is quite special. So sorry for your loss, you sound similar to me, I lost my Dad suddenly 2 years & 1 month ago.I still cant come to terms with it happening. reading this and seeing that im not the only one experiencing these problems definitely helped. I have never loved any one the way I love my daddy and at the same time I feel guilty because I have a good husband but the love to my dad is greater than anything. They all apply to you too. I lost my dad 6 mths ago and it seem like yesterday. So many factors are at play in deciding when to reenter what can be a simultaneously ominous and exciting dating scene. I've been there before. I cannot go the mountain again, I cannot go to Opera again, I cannot ski, I cannot visit places, I cannot eat cakes because I remember them. Past away November 14th 2018 and Im up 1 month at the time I got the call from nurse 1:00am trying to find help from the pain. When he did get clean, he wasnt the man I knew. He was a great husband and was a devout husband who showed my mom love for over 50 years. I look at his pictures, talk to him and just cry. Id speak to a therapist abut PTSD, you have had rapid succession of loss and PTSD can hang around for years. Im just so sad right now. I know theres a beautiful future ahead of you. My husbands biological dad passed away 4 yrs after his mom. You are amazing and you deserve to be happy once more. My sister is a wonderful person, like my mother. Theres no universal manual to help you deal with the loss of a parent, so when it does happen, a lot of feelings, occurrences and interactions with other people can take you by surprise. I know how you feel, and my thoughts are with you. I have become numb from losing the three main men in my life. Your email address will not be published. Especially if you are the first in their life to go through such a loss. It really helps. I never wanted to see him pass away as knew it would have been a very traumatic experience but in the end, i saw him take his last breath. Youre right about the rawness of it all. I was always a HUGE daddys girl, the apple of his eye. Everyday I think of him. I talked to him every day and saw him every week. Hopefully the fact that you look exactly like your father will be a great comfort to your younger siblings, as my brother was for me; and hopefully even a little comforting for your step-mom, too. It was never his fault, and it was never my fault it was just right person wrong time, and that is what hurts me the most. I dont wanna live my life backwards just thinking of what I could have Done and without no furiren in sight. They love you and want the best for you and want you to grow old and have the life you deserve. , i lost my dad at christmas it still hurts i carnt sleep at nights im so tired i just cry, Ahh Terry. School is going horrible, I cant focus, Im absent the majority of days, Im angry, sad, depressed, and I honestly feel like such a screw up, like Im doing literally everything wrong. I miss all of him. From india. Missing boards and they continue to fall off. Take care . He was in indian guides with me. It may even seem like you are stuck in a dream, and everything that is going on isnt really happening. At first, only those closest to me knew of these adventures. Thank you for your words.